Funny Happy Fathers Day Quotes by Clarence Budington Kelland, William Shakespeare, Phyllis Diller, Harmon Killebrew, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Ray Romano and many others.

My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
It is a wise father that knows his own child.
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, ‘You’re tearing up the grass’; ‘We’re not raising grass,’ Dad would reply. ‘We’re raising boys.’
A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.
Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.
For rarely are sons similar to their fathers: most are worse, and a few are better than their fathers.
I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.
The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!
Came from God; I call him Dad!
The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother’s always a Democrat.
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father.
One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
There should be a children’s song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep’.
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.