Funny Happy Fathers Day Quotes

Funny Happy Fathers Day Quotes by Clarence Budington Kelland, William Shakespeare, Phyllis Diller, Harmon Killebrew, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Ray Romano and many others.

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let

My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
Clarence Budington Kelland
It is a wise father that knows his own child.
William Shakespeare
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
Phyllis Diller
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, ‘You’re tearing up the grass’; ‘We’re not raising grass,’ Dad would reply. ‘We’re raising boys.’
Harmon Killebrew
A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.
Ray Romano
For rarely are sons similar to their fathers: most are worse, and a few are better than their fathers.
I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.
Sigmund Freud
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Robert Orben
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.
Gloria Naylor
The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!
John Walter Bratton
The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother’s always a Democrat.
Robert Frost
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father.
Lydia M. Child
One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.
George Herbert
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
Spike Milligan
There should be a children’s song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep’.
Jim Gaffigan
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain

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