Funny Husband And Wife Quotes by Francois de La Rochefoucauld, B. R. Ambedkar, W. Somerset Maugham, Herbert V. Prochnow, Richard J. Needham, George Bernard Shaw and many others.

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends.
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
Love is a fever which marriage puts to bed and cures.
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other… until death do them join.
Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you’ll meet that night.
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.