Funny New Years Resolution Quotes

Funny New Years Resolution Quotes by Robert Clark, Mark Twain, Jon Stewart, Jay Leno, Cyril Cusack, John Selden and many others.

I would say happy new year, but it's not happy; it's ex

I would say happy new year, but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder.
Robert Clark
New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
Mark Twain
What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square. It’s a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It’s just a few Jews walking around going, “sup?”
Jon Stewart
New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.
Jay Leno
If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.
Cyril Cusack
Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it’s twice as onerous a duty.
John Selden
May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!
Aleister Crowley
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
Bill Vaughan
Celebrate what you want to see more of.
Tom Peters
I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
Anais Nin
Let each new year find you a better person.
Benjamin Franklin
For last year’s words belong to last year’s language And next year’s words await another voice.
T. S. Eliot
Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since.
Dave Beard
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
Joey Lauren Adams
Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Mark Twain
Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.
Benjamin Franklin
Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
Hal Borland

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