Funny Valentines Day Card Quotes by Groucho Marx, Rita Rudner, Mickey Rooney, Helen Rowland, Lynda Barry, John Kenneth Galbraith and many others.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.
Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.
Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
There’s a certain part of the contented majority who love anybody who is worth a billion dollars.
The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods.
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love.
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.
One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
The bravest thing that men do is love women.
I’m tired of love; I’m still more tired of rhyme; but money gives me pleasure all the time.